Sexual assault is a pervasive issue in our society, and it's crucial to understand the tactics that predators use to achieve their objectives. While most people think of sexual assault as a stranger jumping out of the bushes, the reality is that most sexual assault is perpetrated by someone known to the target. In fact, it's estimated that at least 80% of sexual assaults are committed by non-strangers.
While the objective of both a stranger and a non-stranger are similar, the tactics and strategies they use to choose their targets and carry out their crimes are different. While strangers may need to surprise and overwhelm their victims, non-strangers often rely on previously built relationships to gain access to their targets and keep them quiet after the incident.
🔹 Phase 1: Intrusion
The first phase is Intrusion, where the perpetrator begins to invade the target's personal space or make unwanted sexual advances. This may involve
Touching or groping without consent
Making suggestive comments or gestures
Asking intrusive questions about your personal or intimate life
Making sexual or misogynistic jokes
Showing you inappropriate images
The predator's objective during this phase is to test the target's boundaries and see what they can get away with. The more they are able to push the target’s boundaries, the more confident they will become.
Defensive Strategy: Be aware of predatory tactics like this one and trust your instincts. If someone is making you even the slightest bit uneasy, assert yourself and set boundaries early to prevent the situation from escalating.
Example: “Woah, you don’t need to touch my back when you move past me.”
🔹 Phase 2: Desensitization
The second phase is desensitization, where the perpetrator continues to escalate the sexual contact or harassment until it seems commonplace in the relationship. The target may start to feel confused or overwhelmed and may begin to question their own judgment or feel like they are overreacting. The predator's objective during this phase is to get the target to question their own intuition and become more accepting of unwanted advances.
Defensive Strategy: Understand that it's never too late to set boundaries, even if the behavior was previously tolerated or even invited. Expect pushback when trying to set boundaries, but stay firm in your convictions.
Example: “Look, I actually prefer handshakes over hugs. I’m just not comfortable being touched.”
🔹 Phase 3: Isolation
The third phase is isolation, where the perpetrator may try to isolate the target from potential rescuers in order to continue the assault or harassment. Unlike strangers, non-strangers can rely on their relationship with the target and take advantage of their trust in order to get them alone. The target may feel trapped or helpless and be reluctant to use extremely violent techniques against someone she knows and maybe even respects or cares for.
Defensive Strategy: Avoid being alone with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable and listen to your intuition. Self-defense training in an art like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu can help ensure that you have versatile tools to protect yourself in worst-case scenarios, even against someone you know.
Example: If you have a creepy boss, leave office doors open, and make up an excuse as to why you can’t ever stay late (I’ve got jiu-jitsu at 5:30!).
🔹 Phase 4: Carry Out the Assault
The fourth and final phase is carrying out the assault. During this phase, the perpetrator often uses manipulation and coercion to maintain control while committing the crime. These types of attackers often employ instrumental violence, meaning they use just enough force to keep their target under control, rather than gratuitous violence, which is often used by strangers to surprise and overwhelm the target.
After the assault has occurred, the perpetrator relies on the relationship he’s built to confuse and manipulate the victim into staying silent. They may convince the target that nobody would believe them, or that the incident was just the natural progression of their relationship, and was consensual.
The predator's objective during this phase is to maintain control over the target during and after the assault has occurred.
Defensive Strategy: Understand that survival is the most important thing. Sometimes, we have to do things we don't want to do to survive, and there are no wrong answers in self-defense. Whatever you may have done to survive was the right thing.
Example: “You’ve been so flirty with me, of course, you wanted it. Nobody will believe you anyways.”
🌟 Remember, sexual assault is never the survivor's fault, and there is help and support available for survivors of sexual assault. Understanding the four phases of non-stranger predatory strategies can empower you to protect yourself and recognize danger early on.
👉 If you found this information helpful, please share it with others, and let's work together to end sexual violence. If you have any questions or need support, don't hesitate to reach out. We're here to help! 💪💜
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